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Keep Yourself Confused

by Handsome Pants

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1.
Gone blubbery suddenly uncertain of who you are to be You had to look behind the curtain because because because It turns out the hero in your story is a villain to me And there’s nothing behind the curtain because because because There’s no truth to memory but it has a lovely sound Just don’t forget what you believe, don’t let your eyes drop to the ground Nothing is below you but a lovely sound Just don’t forget what you believe, that home’s a place to be Every little failure has its own allure But you’re never really certain what’s the sickness and what’s the cure Maybe you need a little courage, maybe you’re just looking for a friend Maybe you wish you were made of something else Maybe you’re just looking for an end For a way out of all of this pretend You can’t help but take a peek at what’s behind the curtain It’s just me fooling nobody but me Gone blubbery suddenly uncertain of who you are to me I had to look behind the curtain because because because
2.
Quit counting all you lost or you’ll lose it Just pretend you never needed it anyway And soon enough you’ll believe Besides, there are so many brand new things to think about There is still enough to choose There is so much more to lose There is so much more to lose There’s so much more left to be used
3.
Don’t get out of the car. Don’t look behind you. It will make you see stars. It will have you wanting to.
4.
We did our vanishing act one last time It was the only way I had of keeping you off my mind But to do it right someone’s gotta disappear There was no one in the audience I had to volunteer Now you say how cliché of me, maybe I just wanted to be another man done gone But maybe I just wanted to be another man done gone you say how cliché of me, maybe I just wanted to be another man done gone But man I never wanted to be another man done gone
5.
They were shaking it like it was broken So many people made it feel like an oven Watching all the kids dancing in the kitchen You were just thinking, doing nothing flowered on the wall outside of the moment taking notes but trying not to show it standing sour, sad as a lemon You’d had enough, you were ready to go but you were waiting for something to happen You were alone but you were all together
6.
Ignorance is bliss, but you can never know it. The unexamined life is….oh, what’s the word? To get a grip is like baiting the tail of a fish. The unexamined life does not exist.
7.
You were in my dream last night We were walking with a group of people around a city You were asking me the names of things And I got so angry all I could think to say was I don’t remember, I don’t remember I wanted to tell you everything about me But I have forgotten it already And I can’t tell if you are even listening
8.
You tell me I’m sweet til it stings like a curbing So what am I to be another book for your learning Another flavorful cuisine just waiting for the serving There are too many honest things that I should’ve never said Because the crowd was too big and you were never listening anyway Girl I could’ve loved you but the line was too long You gotta get there early if you want to belong I don’t want to be another one of your self destructions No I don’t want to be another one of your little self destructions And I don’t want to dejavu with you anymore No I don’t want to dejavu with you anymore
9.
This isn’t a walk in the clouds For me
10.
April Shower 02:07
11.
That time all it took was a sound And you knew you blew it Everything into the ground You always knew it But it was all it was all it was all that you had You gave it all it all it all that you have You were living in the lost and found your way through it I called your name trying to help you down But you outgrew it You got through it
12.
An Attack! 04:49
Part of me’s gone somewhere and it’s never coming back In all the days I am alive I’m always gonna lack But I’m done with all the worry I’ve had years to think like that Today’s no day for waiting it’s time for an attack Part of me’s gone somewhere and it’s never coming back I didn’t know this was a hanging would you cut me some slack? But I’m done with all the worry I’ve had years to think like that If you’re not with me you can go to hell it’s time for an attack
13.
31 05:26
As far as the rest of life is concerned, what people call 'experience' – who has enough time? And which of us is serious enough for that? In these matters, I fear, we've been 'missing the point.' Our hearts have not even been engaged – nor, for that matter, have our ears! We've been much more like someone divinely distracted and self-absorbed into whose ear the clock has just pealed the twelve strokes of noon with all its force and who all at once wakes up and asks himself 'What exactly did that clock strike?' – so we rub ourselves behind the ears afterwards and ask, totally surprised and embarrassed, 'What have we really just experienced?' And more: 'Who are we really?' Then, as I've mentioned, we count – after the fact – all the twelve trembling strokes of the clock. Strangers to ourselves, we do not understand ourselves, we have to keep ourselves confused.
14.
Arctic Cod 03:21
And what are we to do tonight With all the arctic cod and strawberry pie? We both ate before we came We take little bites to be polite and watch the time go idling by, wondering how much constitutes a try. Life’s a lot of rude arrangements and crude engagements but I haven’t thought much about it without you. So who would you rather be with tonight sharing all this arctic cod and strawberry pie? How long has it been since you came? Little bites to be polite, never hungry, time just idling by If nothing else well at least we gave it a try Life’s a lot of rude arrangements and crude engagements and I’m sad to say I’m happy without you
15.
16.
Every day I wake up Ever since the breakup I feel like the lightest shade of blue I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know why I do Everyday I wake up I give the sheets a shake up Maybe I’m just looking for a clue I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know what I’ll do Maybe I don’t want to wake up To all the endless time that takes up And so many so many so many things to do It’s no wonder I wasn’t thinking about you But I’m learning now to face up To all the time it takes up All of the all of the reasons why I do And it all falls together right on cue And I know someday I’ll wake up Think of all the time to take up And I’ll know and I’ll know and I’ll know just what to do And I’ll be myself , even without you
17.
I wrote a song, it was kind of about you It turned out so good we both wished that it was true And sometimes that was enough Sometimes all you need is a bluff But you could have been anyone And this would have been fun I wasn’t thinking of tomorrow When I grabbed your hand and told you to run But it’s good to know how things are And you showed me how things are I was in a pickle and you were the jar Now I know who you are
18.
You’re looking like a mule that’s quit Chewed through the bit, Dazing n all your shit sentimentally grinding to a halt you learned why there’s two of everything the day you pulled the string boxed up your things and stepped out of the ring and somewhere in an old bag in the attic you found it you found your old orange shirt that says Ocean Pacific or something like that that might not have been it exactly but it’s good to be specific you found your old orange shirt that says Ocean Pacific and it all came back like a wave that's crashing man, doesn't it feel terrific that was so long ago, and now you spend all your time writing guides to places no one goes

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This album was made by Chad McGaw, finished August 2011.
Contact: csmcgaw@gmail.com

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released August 12, 2011

everything by Chad McGaw, except where noted

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Handsome Pants Denver, Colorado

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